A Lost Friend
April 23rd, 2010 at 3:50 pm ()
Me and Stormy resting in the meadow in Yosemite.
Many of you may already know this, but I figured that since Stormy has been part of the heart and soul of Amy’s kitchen and still frolics happily all over the lemonslice, that I should write a post telling everyone that Stormy passed away in January of this year. I know that was a few months ago, but I am just now reaching the point where I can write about her. I’m going to keep this somewhat brief, but I would like to share a little bit about her passing.
For those of you who don’t know how Stormy and I met and became best friends forever, please read our story on the lemonslice.
In July, at the age of 12, Stormy was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma, a cancer of the blood that is pretty common in dogs. The vet gave her about two months after she was diagnosed in July, but she made it until the New Year with her vigorous will to live. Those last 6 months with Stormy were some of the most precious and beautiful moments with her that my family has had. Stormy had always been wise, regal, loving, and affectionate. However, she bestowed her affection only when she truly wanted to. She loved us, but would only slobber on us on two occasions–one was “morning snuggles” when we would all wake up and snuggle together on the bed, and the other was when we came home from anywhere, even if we had only been gone an hour 
In those last few months, she became more gently affectionate with us all the time, surprising us with a single lick at a time of day that would have been far beneath her before. She snuggled with us at any time of day or night, lying gently by my side on the bed instead of escaping to the foot of the bed like she used to where my tossing and turning would not bother her. She never seemed to be doing this out of need, however, or comfort. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She seemed to be able to tell that that WE were the ones who needed comforting, so she would let us know that she loved us and that everything was going to be ok. In the last few weeks, she would lay out on the lawn and watch the birds, which she had always loved to do. The birds were coming closer than ever and stormy would wag her tail as they hopped around her. My mom, sensing that stormy was no threat to them, put seeds all around stormy, and all of the birds of the garden came hopping around her eating happily as she sniffed them and wagged, panting with glee.
I don’t entirely know how I feel about animal psychics, but I happened across a book by one when I was taking Stormy to the vet, and figured, why not, maybe I’ll find out something that Stormy wants in these last few months that she has with us. So I called her, and was told that Stormy wanted to go somewhere she had gone many times before–it was on a mountain, and there were lots of big trees, and a green meadow, and there was a small old house, and it smelled like squirrels. It was her favorite place, and she wanted to go there again. I instantly knew that the psychic was telling me that Stormy wanted to go to our ancient cabin in Yosemite, which we have taken her to every year and which is definitely her favorite place in the world. So I packed up my things and headed out with Stormy. She couldn’t go on long hikes like she used to, but she had never been so joyful romping after squirrels, endlessly sniffing the air, and laying in the cool meadow.
These are some of the photos from that trip, and the picture of Stormy and Me at the top of this post is from this trip as well.
Stormy and Me in the meadow
Me and Stormy looking out over the meadow
Happy Stormy in the grass!
Stormy passed away by natural causes during the night of the first week of January, surrounded by my mother and father. Her ashes are now scattered in the wild garden outside our house, her favorite place to dig. She had an amazing life, and touched us in so many ways. She will always be my first and best dog, that beloved childhood best friend that lives in so many of our hearts.
Aron Koosis said,
April 23, 2010 at 5:41 pm
My sincerest condolences for the tragic loss of your family member–I had four cats at one point and I also had dogs–they are always a great part of life and you will always have wonderful memories. Know you gave her a great life –and she will always be part of you. Best of luck in your future choices and continued success. All My best. Aron
Julie said,
April 24, 2010 at 1:00 pm
Amy, I am so sorry for your loss – my sympathy goes to you and your parents. Thank you for sharing this very touching story. I’m so happy to see that you and Stormy were able to fulfill her wish to go to the cabin. The pictures are beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Julie
Angie Wheeler said,
April 25, 2010 at 4:07 pm
I cry. Beutiful words. I cry some more. xoxo.
Margaret said,
April 27, 2010 at 12:39 pm
What a beautiful story, thanks for sharing! It makes me cry, she was such a good dog and I know you miss her so much. Love that first pic, it says it all, it says “LOVE”!
John McDevitt said,
May 3, 2010 at 5:16 am
That was really sweet Amy, thanks for sharing.
Willow said,
May 4, 2010 at 8:18 pm
That is such a lovely story, especially about her being able to go to Yosemite and play one last time. (Though she’ll be playing with you and in your heart forever) . ((hugs)) so sorry for your loss.
Tracy said,
May 5, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Thank you for the beautiful tribute to Stormy, Amy. The first photo is amazing and such a treat to view. Like you said, Stormy was such a special and smart, loving dog who will never be forgotten by those she touched.
I just went on a short walk which Stormy and I often took near the offices. I really missed her and continue to miss her. Whenever she came to visit she always put a smile on my face and though I never checked my blood pressure, I definitely felt less stressed and peaceful when she was present.
After her passing I wrote this poem for her,
Stormy
Fun, loving, sweet,
My first girl dog love,
Astute, leader of the pack,
Soothing healing presence,
I miss you and will continue to miss your wagging tail and your beautiful smile, winking at everyone you meet all the while.
I’ll miss our walks and talks and your calming effect on me.
Black, grey, brindled coat.
I’ll miss scratching your belly and removing your ticks from your wild romps in those rolling Petaluma hills.
I will miss you Stormy girl.
Thank you for your gift, thank you for our time.
With Love,
Tracy
Karen Beth said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:00 pm
I’m sitting at work with big tears in my eyes after reading this. What an amazing being Stormy was and what a true blessing and privilege of yours to have known her.
Thank you for sharing a beautiful post.
Emily R said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:05 pm
So touching! My puppy-son is getting on in age and I don’t like to think about the end for us. Thanks for sharing your story, Amy! :*)
pd said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:08 pm
I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. It is so hard to lose a pet. I hope that all of your memories, the knowledge that you gave your friend a lovely life, and the idea that so many of us have fond feelings towards Stormy is some comfort to you.
Karen Anne said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:09 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. She and your family were clearly a joy to each other.
Connie said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Losing an animal is always the worst thing – they’re so helpless and they can’t let you know what’s wrong. So sorry for your loss.
Marilyn Kelly said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:29 pm
You are right in remembering all of the sweet times you had with Stormy over the years. When my first two dogs passed, it was heartbreaking so you need to take your time and let yourself heal. Good Luck.
Miss Sharen said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:40 pm
What a lovely tribute. I believe all dogs go to heaven……
Janet Whisler said,
May 7, 2010 at 2:51 pm
So sorry for you to lose your companion. I am going thru similar times with my dog who was a “free puppy”. She is 15 yrs. old and she has forgotten how to go get her bed and bring it into the kitchen glass door every morning. She has dementia according to the vet. It made me cry but I am giving her lots of hugs as always but now she stays very still for me to scoop her up and hug her. I always liked your e-cards with Stormy in them. We love our dogs – they are family. Sincerely, Janet
Broken Heart said,
May 7, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Greetings Amy,
I’m so very sorry to hear about the death of your dear friend, Stormy. Coincidentally, my little girl, Ducey passed away from the SAME disease on January 7, 2010. I have a memorial to her at the Rainbow Bridge if you’d like to visit at http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUCEY001/Resident.htm. It may help to put a memorial up there for your girl too; it sure helped me so very much. People there are so kind and they sent me flowers and heartfelt words, poems and emotions that helped me put my loss in focus. Even now, I cry for my girl. You know, things will never be the same, but our lives are better for loving our girls. Many blessings to you in the future…be comforted that they wait for us at the Bridge.
Lee Tyler said,
May 7, 2010 at 3:07 pm
As one who has beautiful memories of Stormy and Amy growing up together, and being the one who gave Stormy her first vegetarian meal when Amy brought her home to stay, (my husband, Jim, a.k.a Jamie, and I were visiting and staying in the Berliners’ cottage at the time,) I so appreciate seeing these beautiful pictures of Stormy, Amy and the one of the whole family together with Stormy. And I so loved the words and stories that Amy, Andy and Rachel wrote about Stormy which show how much she will always mean to them.
And, imagine my surprise when, through my tears, I went back to Rachel’s letter, scrolled down and saw what I had written about our own dogs, our two vegetarian Chesapeake Bay Retrievers (Casey and Billy) !
Thank you, Stormy, for all that you were and will continue to be to so many of us. Thank you Amy, Rachel and Andy for continuing to share so much about Stormy, yourselves and the company with so many of us.
Lee Tyler, Unadilla, New York
Tess Baker said,
May 7, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Hi Amy – I get it. And I cry w/ you. You wrote about Stormy beautifully. Thank you so much for sharing. I actually live 30 miles south of Yosemite (the company I work for – DNC – operates all hotels & restaurants in Yosemite) I know how magical that place is. Our dogs (3 aussies and 2 McNab/Border Collies) LOVE to visit – snow or sun! Love and Hugs to you.
Elizabeth Clark said,
May 7, 2010 at 3:58 pm
I grieve with you all over the loss of such a sweet friend. HUGZ to you all.
Michelle said,
May 7, 2010 at 4:58 pm
I am very sorry for your loss. Last fall, after 12 years at each other’s side, I said good-bye to my exuberant cattle dog friend and traveling companion, Roy Rose. Like Stormy, Roy developed hemangiosarcoma and approached the end with increasing gentleness as his energy waned. Our last trip together was memorable, from our new home in Minneapolis up Lake Superior’s almost oceanic North Shore. I treasured our short walks and long pauses on the pebbly beaches and wooded paths.
After years of being rewarded with healthy treats and the occasional privilege of licking off Amy’s microwave trays, Roy’s last meal was deliciously forbidden: as much as he wanted from his own full jar of Nutella. I’m still waiting to go back to Rhode Island to scatter Roy’s ashes on the farm he loved exploring and its nearby stretch of the Blackstone River where he swam and swam.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos–they are so full of love and so bittersweet.
Ann Beth said,
May 7, 2010 at 7:59 pm
Dear Amy,
Thanks for sharing. I know how hard it is to be able to write about losing a good friend. I was amazed at the psychic part of your story. I am happy that Stormy got to go to her favorite place one last time. Sounds like Stormy was a lucky dog to have you in her life.
Blessings,
A.B.
Mallory said,
May 7, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Hey Amy. I loved reading your story and I sympathize with your loss. I rescue animals and seeing them pass no matter how long (or short) I get to spend with them is hard. Every animal is a blessing and I hope you know Stormy is watching over you. You will see her again. There are doggies in heaven or they wouldn’t call it heaven!!
My heart goes out to your family.
Amanda said,
May 7, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Your journal is so nice !
I am so sorry about your loss. Time will help and you will be able to accept better than now. It is so hard. They need to live as long as we do!
Love your picture w/him lying together
Best..
Marko Madrazo said,
May 7, 2010 at 9:29 pm
My dear Amy and family, I am sitting here thinking what to tell you, but it isn’t easy. I look around me and here and there sit my five Boston Terriors. It tears me to see all their eyes watching me and just patiently waiting for my hand and or a “let’s go!” I know there isn’t any words in the world that can compensate for the love and loss of a loved one; be it human or companions. But we have to reluctantly give destiny what it calls for. I know when it is my own last day that he calls me, I will say my goodbys with peace and love. And because I know I was never with out love here that I will not be without love there. God blessed you and Stormy with Earthly friendship, and someday with a Heavenly sweetness that will keep you smilling forever. Peace and Love–Marko
Rita said,
May 7, 2010 at 9:48 pm
As a pet owner who has lost 2 very precious animals over the years, I know your grief. Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss. Pets become so much a part of your life and family that their loss is no less heartbreaking than the loss of anyone close to you. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Cheryl said,
May 7, 2010 at 10:31 pm
We also mourn with you. Our sweet, beautiful cocker spaniel Cassie left us just this past weekend. She had a stroke 3 months ago, and we also had been told of a blood condition, and the same one you mentioned is what the vet felt was happening to her. She rapidly declined over the course of 3 days after diagnosis. It was so hard to let go, but she is at peace now and whole. They are angels in fur as far as I can tell. Precious little messengers of unconditional love. Your blog tribute is so healing and helps me to cope. Thank you for sharing.
Stacy said,
May 8, 2010 at 11:56 am
I cried when reading the story and viewing the pictures. It reminds me of the passing of my sweet German Shepherd Max several years ago. Whenever I see a German Shepherd who resembles him, I feel an ache in my heart. Dogs are simply magical creatures. How fortunate we are to spend time with them.
Gita Melkote said,
May 8, 2010 at 1:02 pm
I don’t think there is a dry eye in anyone after reading this. : (
My family and I send our condolences and sorry to hear about this sweet dog passing on.
But it sounded you and the vets did everything possible to keep Stormy alive and well, and Stormy must be very happy he had the chance to be with such a caring family.
Keep strong and never forget the good times.
Deb said,
May 8, 2010 at 2:25 pm
I want to add my thanks to you for sharing your experience with Stormy. My heart aches for you. Many people (non pet-people) don’t understand that when our four-legged family members leave us, we grieve in the same way as we would for our human family. I still tear up sometimes when I think of my departed little ones, but mostly their memories bring me joy. It sounds cliche, but I truly believe Stormy will never actually leave you, although she is gone physically.
Sandra Britton said,
May 8, 2010 at 2:51 pm
I know your pain all too well, and I am so sorry. It will be a year this June 22 that we had to have both of our dogs put down, same day, same time. One dog,T.J., was 17 years old, and Niki, was 15 1/2. T.J. was a rescue from the Navajo Indian Reservation in Kayenta, AZ, and we inherited Niki when my husband’s mother was killed. Niki had a mass in his lungs and there was nothing they could for him due to his age, and T.J. had dementia, a bladder tumor and arthritis. He had just reached the end of his life span. For 17 years he was by by side, always there to comfort me and protect me. We never went anywhere without the dogs. If the dogs couldn’t go, we didn’t go.
I must say that I was totally unprepared for the impact that it had on me. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about them and miss them. It was weeks before I quit calling Niki to come and lick out the empty food containers. This was one of his favorite treats. Their absence has truly created a void in my life, but my life was truly enriched by their presence all those years. We had their bodies cremated, and their ashes were scattered in a vineyard.
Fortunately, we still have two cats, one is 20 years old and the other is 17. I think the 17 year old misses the dogs as much as we do. For days she went from room to room howling for her friends. It’s so hard because you can’t just sit down and explain what happened, even though I tried.
Sloan Willis said,
May 8, 2010 at 5:10 pm
My husband, Scott, and I have been unable to replace our beloved “Aggie Puppy” even though it has been 5 years!!! We also have 5 children (grown) who lament over any sort of replacement! I am so sorry Amy! It is so so hard to lose such a companion!
Diana Kelly said,
May 8, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Thank you for sharing your beautiful treasured memories of Stormy. Amy, please believe that Stormy’s spirit will follow you always. Rest in Peace dear, sweet Stormy.
Kathy said,
May 8, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Dear Amy,
I’m so sorry for your loss, but it looks like Stormy had a great life with you! Having had 3 “best friends” throughout my life, who lived to ages 14, 15, and 17, I know how hard it is to lose them. I’m glad you were able to be close to her during her last months. You’re so right when you stated that she knew that you needed comforting. My dear animals always did, and my new one one certainly does! I wish you the best, and take comfort in knowing that you made her last months here the best a dog could wish for.
Judith said,
May 10, 2010 at 8:35 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I know the sadness you feel as I have just lost my two cats in March and April who were about 17 years old. Like Stormy, these were family members. You have so many great memories of her that will help to comfort you. She had such a wonderful life being part of your family. My love to you and your family.
Mar Smith said,
May 13, 2010 at 10:22 pm
I shed tears for you and your family in the loss of your beloved dog. I’m writing as I set my eyes on my own 12-year-old beloved dog. He has been slowing down over the past 6 months and the thought of life without him in the future is very tough. Thank God that there is hope for a better place for them. The Bible says that there are animals in heaven. I trust that your beloved Stormy is experiencing a place much more beautiful than Yosemite. God bless you.
Wendy said,
May 17, 2010 at 9:50 am
I’m so sorry for your loss.
melissa phillips said,
May 21, 2010 at 8:00 am
Treasure the memory and pass it on to your children of such a faithful friend. You made me cry this morning as I was writing my own blog. Thank you for a wonderful story.
Mysty Stewart said,
June 10, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Amy, I am so sorry about Stormy. He was a fantastic dog and I always enjoyed playing with him or petting him when I would come for marketing meetings at the house – if I recall he was present at most of those meetings. I am glad to hear he is going to stay a part of the Lemonslice – he’s been there since the beginning and it wouldn’t be the same without him. Please pass along my condolences to your parents as well. Kudos to you for having the courage to share a very difficult event in your life with Amy’s fans.
MaryClare Robbins said,
June 11, 2010 at 10:28 am
I lost a most beloved dog, Becky, on April 19th. She was 17 years and 5 months old. She had been with me since she was about 7 weeks old and brought joy to my life everyday. I miss her terribly. I am so sorry for your loss.
Peggy said,
June 13, 2010 at 10:33 am
I can not express my sentiments any better than those who have already responded. In my heart, I only hope that the passing of our beloved companions is simply a transition, natural and wonderful, to a better place. Sadness at our loss is inevitable, but with the knowledge that each living creature must follow their own path, and that part of the reason for our sadness is a loss of the pleasure we experienced in the presence of our companions, we can hopefully better understand our sadness and allow room for peace.
Terri said,
June 15, 2010 at 5:16 pm
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved Stormy. To me there is no love like that of a pet. It is unconditional. Be gentle on yourself. Grieve as long as you need to.
Debbie said,
June 19, 2010 at 9:10 am
Hi Amy, You and my daughter share the same birthday (she was born just two years before you in 1985 – her name is Kiersten). I have to say I know what you mean about not talking about it for a bit. I cried reading about Stormy as I still cry when I remember my last time with my collie Max. He was almost 13 years old when he started having seizures (just the day before they were all sharing my cereal and soy milk as they always did). He was at the vet on valium to control the seizures, it was the end of August 2008. I had to let him go sitting there on a cold floor while he was in a metal cage. Now I wish I had been able to move him to a room and hold his head in my lap once more. My two grandchildren Jocelyn almost 5 and Gavin almost 4 still remember him and Jocelyn’s wish is always to have Max come back. How I wish that could happen. I still and always will miss him. I am so sorry for your loss too – sorry I went on about mine but I guess I needed to talk about it. Where I worked at the time I could not even be off with him – they truly were not caring there – about humans or animals. You are so lucky that you got to go where Stormy wanted to go and could be with her when she left this world. Hopefully she and Max are hanging out together enjoying the outdoors (Max loved to go and just hang around outside and he even took the front seat from my daughter when we got in the car). There is nothing like the love of our four legged friends so it is very hard when they go. Thank you for listening Amy and take care, she is with you now and always will be. Debbie
Coil said,
June 23, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Amy, We too lost our 12 year old dog “Snuggles” this Winter. After 4 months without a representative of “The Dog People” in our household we adopted a Cavalier/Chin who turned out to be a vegetable lover too!
Regards from me and Lori to you and your’s
beth davis said,
June 30, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Thank you for sharing your story of Stormy. Please accept my deepest sympathy; I am so sorry for your loss. I share with you your love of animals, and believe they are extremely sensitive, compassionate, spiritual beings. When I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, and was going through treatment as well as personal turmoil in my home life, my pets provided me with the greatly-needed support I required to keep going. This was extremely true of one cat in particular who had been with me through other rough patches in my life. He is my best friend. Thank you again for sharing your story about your beloved Stormy. I hope your happy memories bring you comfort and peace.
Ingrid said,
July 14, 2010 at 4:26 pm
I realize I’m reading this late, but as one who has also dealt with hemangiosarcoma, I know that this grief is not something that comes and then goes away. I know that my condolences are still relevant. My heart bleeds for you as I know how tragic it is to say good bye to our loved ones in such a way.
hugs & prayers,
ingrid
Diana said,
July 30, 2010 at 2:30 am
So sorry to hear about your loss.
Natasha said,
August 29, 2010 at 10:22 am
I’m so sorry.